What do USC and UCLA students have in common? They both got in to USC.
A first grade teacher tells her class that she is an ‘SC fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are ‘SC fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, “Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?”
“Because I’m not an ‘SC fan,” she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Then who are you a fan of?”
“I am a UCLA fan, and proud of it,” Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. “Janie, why pray tell are you a UCLA fan?”
“Because my mom is a UCLA fan, and my dad is a UCLA fan, so I’m a UCLA fan too!”
“Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “that is no reason for you to be a UCLA fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?”
“Then,” Janie smiled, “I’d be an ‘SC fan.”
Q: What’s the difference between a USC cheerleader and a bag of trash? A: The trash gets taken out more often!
Q: What does a Trojan and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What’s the difference between a litter of puppies and USC fans? A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: What do you call a person from USC in a three-piece suit? A: The defendant
Top Ten Reasons Why You’d Rather Be a Bruin than a Trojan
Your fight song has more than three notes.
Your mascot doesn’t take a dump on the field.
Your tuition doesn’t equal the national debt of most third world countries.
None of your cheerleaders are named Buffy or Candie.
Bruins need more than one hand to count their Nobel Prize winners.
Your football highlights are in color unlike USC’s which are black and white.
Your basketball team doesn’t think a fast break is a chance to get some water.
Your band doesn’t dress in an emulation of decadent imperial arrogance.